By February 4, 2014 2 Comments

Be Your Own Life Coach

1009358_92857377I must admit I was initially a little perplexed at the whole concept of Life Coaching. Surely, I said to myself, is not Life Coaching just re-affirming the obvious and molly coddling someone too lazy to pursue a particular goal or direction?
Suffice to say, my first proper foray into this positive, upbeat and sickly sweet world did nothing to oppose this opinion.

To quote the somewhat famous life coach Tony Robbins “everything happens for a reason and a purpose, and it serves us, it gives us a different approach”.
I can assure you I am not a Life Coach. As a considerate human being, however, I have offered advice, and this is almost a staple to all who need a balm for their troubled souls. Is Life Coaching, therefore, just a ‘paid-for friend’? Do Life Coaches just state the obvious for a price? Or is there a kernel of truth to be found somewhere in this American whirling dervish of positive statements, armchair psychology and charismatic white teeth flashers?

I’m not here to say that Life Coaching is a farce or a paid-for lie, for all the same reasons that I’m not here to say that believing in fairies or a particular religion is wrong. I’ll be the first to defend free speech and the freedom of belief with the obvious but often overlooked caveat that it doesn’t hurt anybody. There is no reason to die, or be out of pocket, because we don’t agree what happens when that final breath leaves this mortal coil.

Life Coaching, however, predominantly deals with what happens in the interim years-and this is where I do a U-turn quicker than the dear Mr Clegg.

Before I begin on the virtues of Life Coaching, let me give you a brief definition. Life Coaching pulls from many different areas, including psychology, sociology and sometimes even hypnosis. With, of course, a healthy dollop of charisma, Life Coaching can be used for sports or business, and even financial advice can be given. The most common form, however, is personal development or goal orientated coaching.
A Life Coach is impartial so therefore will not pander and because of their objectivity can help you more. This article is brief, however, more information about Life Coaching can be found using Google, or the ever reliable Wikipedia.
I must admit I was initially a little perplexed at the whole concept of Life Coaching. Surely, I said to myself, is not Life Coaching just re-affirming the obvious and molly coddling someone too lazy to pursue a particular goal or direction?
Suffice to say, my first proper foray into this positive, upbeat and sickly sweet world did nothing to oppose this opinion.

To quote the somewhat famous life coach Tony Robbins “everything happens for a reason and a purpose, and it serves us, it gives us a different approach”.
I can assure you I am not a Life Coach. As a considerate human being, however, I have offered advice, and this is almost a staple to all who need a balm for their troubled souls. Is Life Coaching, therefore, just a ‘paid-for friend’? Do Life Coaches just state the obvious for a price? Or is there a kernel of truth to be found somewhere in this American whirling dervish of positive statements, armchair psychology and charismatic white teeth flashers?

I’m not here to say that Life Coaching is a farce or a paid-for lie, for all the same reasons that I’m not here to say that believing in fairies or a particular religion is wrong. I’ll be the first to defend free speech and the freedom of belief with the obvious but often overlooked caveat that it doesn’t hurt anybody. There is no reason to die, or be out of pocket, because we don’t agree what happens when that final breath leaves this mortal coil.

Life Coaching, however, predominantly deals with what happens in the interim years-and this is where I do a U-turn quicker than the dear Mr Clegg.

Before I begin on the virtues of Life Coaching, let me give you a brief definition. Life Coaching pulls from many different areas, including psychology, sociology and sometimes even hypnosis. With, of course, a healthy dollop of charisma, Life Coaching can be used for sports or business, and even financial advice can be given. The most common form, however, is personal development or goal orientated coaching.
A Life Coach is impartial so therefore will not pander and because of their objectivity can help you more. This article is brief, however, more information about Life Coaching can be found using Google, or the ever reliable Wikipedia.

Now obviously my cynicism yawns, rears its head from the sofa and points out that a friend can be objective and, in some cases, can be a lot more direct if given half the chance. The problem is that, despite meaning well, some friends have no clue what they’re talking about. So what is it that distinguishes the advice of a Life Coach from the advice of a friend? What qualifies this guy or girl, who I have to pay up to £100 a session, to tell me what mind set I should have?

Well, this is where things get a little sticky. Life Coaching is currently unregulated in the UK, meaning that anyone can call themselves a Life Coach – even if all they have is a few GCSEs in the core subjects to their name. This is why, if you do venture into these waters, it pays to do your research.

Like I said in the beginning, I was ready to abandon Life Coaching as foolish and get ready my soap box.
I wanted to tell you all to consign this to the same place we put reality shows and Justin Bieber, entertaining for a brief time but lacking in depth and becoming tiresome after a while. Something hit me, however, while listening to the aforementioned Tony Robbins. Who am I to say this is rubbish and doesn’t help anyone?
‘In 2011 Qa Research, an independent marketing research agency, found that 80% of organisations surveyed had used or are now using coaching’.

Some people choose to pay money to churches in the hope of salvation and a little guidance. Others, like myself, find guidance in the form of friends who provide examples and advice. What happens, then, when the divine doesn’t seem to be omnipotent and all knowing? When your friends can offer no better advice than telling you to cheer up, drink and shut up?
This is when we turn to those who can help, and they choose to call themselves Life Coaches. Who am I, or indeed who is anyone, to say that they are wrong, immoral or amoral? The charges can be a little steep, and the fact you can become a Life Coach for only £500 is a little distasteful, but no service that offers redemption is totally foolproof and clean cut. There will always be thieves and dishonesty in whatever walk of life you find yourself. To abandon any pursuit because of them would only leave you standing stock still, in a mire of self-pity, self-deprecation and depression. This might make you an ideal comic perhaps- but then the business of show isn’t exactly the best place to go if you want to avoid dishonesty!

So what to conclude of this humble narrative? I suggest that if you need help, seek it at first from those around you -because as strange and incongruous as it might often be, this advice comes from a special place. If all else fails then seek out a Life Coach, but please do your research and do not reveal yourself to those who only seek profit.
There are a few Life Coaches out there who will genuinely help- their advice will enable you to overcome shyness and make you confident enough to ask that person, for whom your heart skips a beat, out on a date.
These coaches have indeed helped millions before you; they have transformed mice that scuttle around the floor into behemoths of the boardroom.
One small point, however, before I leave you, is that they offer no more than words.  It is you that has the confidence, only it is somewhere that you haven’t thought to look.
Think, for instance, of the guy or girl who causes your heart to flutter. With courage, you could take the very same 24 letters that a Life Coach might use to help you and ask the question yourself.
Maybe they will say no, and that is part of the rich tapestry of life. If love was that easy then it wouldn’t deserve the sonnets that were written about it. Maybe, however, they will say yes.

So do Life Coaches help? Yes of course they do. Many businesses have been improved by being made to view things by a different approach.
If your outlook is ‘life’s a bitch and then you die’, your story might pan out differently than if you take the approach ‘what if life is not happening to me, but is happening for me?’ Someone looking at life from the second perspective might look at everything in their life and say ‘everything happens for a reason and a purpose, and it serves me’. Now I am not a Life Coach, but as a considerate human being I would say that is a staple to be a balm to a troubled soul.

Mark LightowlerAbout: Mark Lightowler (1 Posts)

I love the story, my story, your story, any story really and find myself in the constant pursuit of them, then detailing them for no other reason then to share and inspire.


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Posted in: Health & Lifestyle

2 Comments on "Be Your Own Life Coach"

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  1. Steven Posey says:

    I don’t know enough about it to comment other than to say (it’s my belief) that if one doesn’t know the grace of God, a life coach won’t help people with their biggest problems. 

  2. Dan G. says:

    Ask yourself these questions. What do you want to do? What do you need to get done? What is on your bucket list? Review it every six months. If your not getting some of it done call me. I will then scold you, comfort you or provide you with some platitudes of some sort. Then remember the importance part…. Send me a check for $300.00, no, $400.00, no $500.00 dollars. If your really rich add a zero before the decimal point.

    :)

    From Wikipedia

    ” “There’s a sucker born every minute”

    is a phrase often credited to P. T. Barnum (1810–1891), an American showman. Though this phrase is often credited to Barnum, it was more likely spoken by David Hannum, who was criticizing both Barnum and his customers. It means it is simple to con people out of their money.”

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