It’s now been proven that an Eve did exist. She is the most recent common ancestor of all humans living today. If you’re interested in working out how many greats go before grandmother, she lived between around 140-200,000 years ago. Don’t forget though that, according to the Bible, humans back then lived to nearly a thousand years old.
It’s all to do with ‘mitochondrial DNA’ apparently. Those scientists, they’re always making up new words to confuse us and make us feel dumb for not knowing them. So she’s sort of been named ‘Mitochondrial Eve’. Excellent. That also means that you, the reader, and I, the writer, are distantly related. Hello, cousin many times removed.
Before we all get carried away and say that it’s absolute proof that every word of the Bible is now proven, unlike the biblical Eve, Mitochondrial Eve was not the only woman on the planet. She’s just the only one who produced an unbroken line of females to any woman alive today. That’s a lot of descendants.
Mitochondrial Eve lived in Africa, so we’re all a tiny bit African. That means that, way back in time, humans set off on a journey that spread us all over the world. You’d have to see the amazing Dr Alice Roberts’ TV series ‘The Incredible Human Journey’ for full details of how we managed to do that. A brilliant documentary, really well done.
How about Adam then? Is he father to us all? Sort of. Those scientists have named him Y-chromosomal Adam, just to give me hassle with the spelling. Sadly though for the Bible followers, he and Mitochondrial Eve didn’t necessarily live at the same time. Indeed, he’s estimated to have lived between around 180-581,000 years ago. So unless she was into seriously older men, it’s highly unlikely that they even knew each other. Unlike Eve, it’s his nuclear Y chromosome that he passed down to us.
To confuse the issue, and why it was the Celtic way to name children after the mother rather than the father, because you always knew who the mother was, there was another Y-chromosomal Adam. He was a bit of a toy boy though, living some 120-156,000 years ago.
This is where the whole Adam and Eve thing gets all contentious though, because the Bible says God created them but the ancient alien theorists say the aliens created them by changing the genes of apes or whatever was closest to human at the time. They can’t both be right. Although some of those ancient alien theorists would insist they’re the same thing.
If only the experts could prove the existence of the Garden of Eden we’d all know where we came from. The Eden covered in Genesis is hard to pin down, it’s been claimed to be in northern Iraq, Africa and the Gulf of Persia. Even Lebanon. Not helpful. I suppose it doesn’t help that everything was destroyed by the great flood of Noah’s Ark fame. More likely is that God had no further use for Eden after Eve ate the apple so it was removed.
Who knows, if you live in one of the aforementioned places your house may be on top of it. More probable though is that there’s a Big Mac or Ikea on it.
The big question about Eden must be: what if Eve hadn’t listened to the serpent and eaten the apple? Would humans have remained in Eden until today and would Eden have grown with us? OK, that’s two questions but you get the idea. No, because it was meant to be. Eve had to eat the apple and get thrown out into the big wide world, otherwise America would never get discovered and we wouldn’t have the burger.
So now you see why the serpent was so severely punished for persuading Eve to eat the apple. Had he not, there’d be no snakes and the meerkats would have no snakes to eat and would have died out. Then we wouldn’t have all those annoying adverts. Damn that serpent and his silver tongue.
OK, you’ll say that meerkats also eat insects and other small mammals but I was using my poetic license. I bought it on eBay and I’m determined to get my money’s worth out of it.
The whole Adam and Eve things falls apart for me because it’s been scientifically proven that two people isn’t enough to populate a planet, even if they do live to be a thousand years old. Mitochondrial Eve managed it because she and her descendants had access to a large pool of males to breed with, thus the problem of inbreeding and subsequent sterility wasn’t an issue. Just watch the scary movie Deliverance for evidence of the result of too small a gene pool.
What’s not clear is if Adam then ate an apple or was Eve always smarter than him. Women will choose the latter, of course. Interestingly we still have apples today but they’re not proven to have any advantageous effects on intelligence or self-awareness. What happened there then? I’m guessing that the apple was a metaphor. It was probably a mirror. That’s how those canny scientists test self-awareness in animals and children. Dolphins are self-aware but small children are not. Draw your own conclusions from that.
If the apple was therefore a mirror, was the serpent a scientist? Today we always think of the serpent as being a snake but in the Bible he only becomes a snake afterwards. Before that we don’t know. So he may well have been a scientist. I’m betting he was an alien scientist who went a bit too far, in a Frankensteinian sort of way, and was severely punished for damaging an important experiment in early human development.
So does that mean that all the snakes on Earth are actually descended from an alien scientist? Of course not, there are many different sorts of snake, so there had to be more than one.